FAQs about Rubelia

Did you follow building codes and OSHA standards for Rubelian building projects? Yeah, sure, Michael grilled us in this overarching Rubelian Building Rule..

Michael had a special party for Bill Graham, that guy who built an airplane in the reservoir,  and about 100 other people and then drove them all to diner at McDonalds?  Nice ride though.

Were you warned that you wouldn't be able to leave the party until the Little Farmer said so?  Yes, with this invite.

What runs that 1990 Seth Thomas mechanical clock 75" feet up that supposed tower, an electrical plug?  No, this guy.

Curt often said he got high with Michael.  How'd he do that?  By bringing Michael buggies of that get high stuff, like this.

Is it true that until Michael met Kia he was a huge chick magnet?  See 4 urself.

Is it true that MCR (Michael Clark Rubel) usually treated you like a dog, but cousin Scott was usually nice to you?  Obviously, so true.

I hear that Michael's kitchen is really high tech, that true?  Course, way ahead of Little House on Prairie

Why did it always take you so long to write stuff about the farm?  Because MCR always made us type set from the shop anything we wrote.

Is it true that MCR tried to encase your house in rocks with you in it?  Check it out, man.

What kind of respect did your students shower on you while you were teaching and living at Rubelia? Obviously, lots, see.

Did you ever get the books out of your kitchen at your rail tied house?  Around the time Harriet told me I needed a door to the bathroom, I took care of the books with..

Just another Rubelian fable about MCR, Glen, Wiley and you being ten foot above ground, piling sandbags to save the city, ain't it?  Well, you think we faked it for this National Geographic centerfold?  Note the directional sign...

Is it true that with the likes of Governor Deukmejian and Prince Philip partying at Rubelia, party invites are often as formal as White House invites?  Yeah, sure, see.

How do you get to this fabled tunnel you Rubelians claim to have labored in?  As you pass through the entry, look to your left, that's where one entrance was before a quake and explosion partially buried it.

Come on, if you looney Pharm hands really have a tunnel why haven't more of us solid citizens been in it?  Because the insurance company kept saying solid citizens shouldn't be down here.

How then do you drive your tractors and stuff into the castle area?  Through this tunnel, some of whoss side bottles, incidentally, are lined with scantily clad bathing beauties

Where and with whom did you do your only good thinking when not rail-roaded into some project by Lord Michael? This is the spot with Kia's my dog.

Just how hard did MCR work in getting the heavy lifting done around Rubelia -- you know, like creosoting the building, shoveling cement, lifting the rock and cement buggies to upper levels, putting the tools away, lifting telephone polls in place, pumping out and cleaning the tunnels?  King MCR worked about this hard.

You really put Michael down a lot.  You almost demonize him...  You bet! Demons like him deserve to be sermonized.

How did the ground floor look before the castle started being built?  After the tunnel was blasted and cut into the reservoir, it looked fairly empty, like this.

MCR claims he got his castle building ideas from kings, like King Hrolf. think that's true? Here's King Hrolf's philosophy, what do you think?

Is it true that behind those barbed wired, electrolized, searing glass lined ten foot walls you pharmhands  worked on government top secret science projects?  Yeph, much of our vaunted Apollo and beyond space program took place in the foothills of Calepharmia, look for yourself.

Wow! How did you hide this work from the world? We brought namby-pamby grass-and-leaves camoflouage to another worldly level of boulders, cement, and creosote, undetecable by those commies and today's UFOs.  See how America's rocket booooosters were hidden.

Come on!  You'd need all sorts of timing and testing equipment to do that science stuff.... You're right. but you're also suffering from today prevalent high tech and fashion arrogance.  YOu'd be amazed the technology you can hide in old printing press, ham radios, clunky robots, and 1890's Seth Thomas mechanical clocks.

But wasn't the on going work detectable via satellite reconnaissance? The snob-nosed spies saw aerial views of a castle of junk, pooh-poohing much of our work as Samson and Son child's play.  As a back-up to their arrogance, which we anticipated, we concocted a defense shield on which Reaganites are still spending billions.  All I can tell you about our patented shield is that it relies on pharmhand stealth vaporization technology consisting of a blend of creosote, with chicken, horse, pig and pigeon droppings aerated by millions of humming bird wing flappings, emeshed with scents from avocados, cumquat and old orange peels and the seat of growing, confused men. Consequently, all UFOs and Ashcroft sees from above today is this aerial of castle blended roofs.